Making the first move is never easy, especially when you are in a new country, dealing with different cultural expectations, and unsure if the feelings are mutual. This is the situation one young woman recently shared. She visited Norway, met a local man she felt a strong connection with, and decided to ask for his Instagram before flying back home. But after a week of silence, she is left confused. Did she misread the moment? Should she have done more to show her interest? Or is this simply how things are in some cultures?
This story is about what happens when we step outside our comfort zone, try to be brave, and are met with silence. And how sometimes, silence is harder to understand than rejection.
Let’s unpack this situation from different angles.
What Just Happened? Cultural Clues vs. Personal Interest
First, it helps to accept that making the first move can feel big or small depending on where you come from. In many Western cultures, especially Nordic ones like Norway, it’s common for people to be reserved. They take their time. They don’t often approach strangers or make quick emotional moves. They value space and tend to avoid doing things that might come off as too eager or intrusive.
So asking for someone’s Instagram in that setting can actually count as a big move. For someone from a culture where men usually lead in romance, this may not feel like much. But in a place where people are slower to open up, this small step could be seen as showing clear interest.
Norwegians, for example, often don’t flirt directly. A general online study on cross-cultural communication normally finds that Nordic cultures typically value modesty, quietness, and autonomy in personal interactions. So this means many Norwegians might not reach out immediately even if they are interested. Silence can be part of their rhythm, not necessarily a rejection.
Still, that doesn’t make it easier when you’re on the waiting side. Let’s be honest. Waiting for someone to message after you’ve made the first move can feel horrible. Every hour that passes starts to feel like a judgment. We ask ourselves questions like:
- Did I come on too strong?
- Maybe he wasn’t really into me?
- Should I have done more?
- Was he just being polite?
These thoughts are normal. They come from the uncertainty of not having closure. But sometimes, silence is not about you. It’s about the other person’s timing, mindset, or even confusion. They might not know how to respond. They may not even think it’s necessary to respond right away.
But that doesn’t mean your feelings are invalid. When you take a risk, you naturally hope for some acknowledgment, even if it’s just a friendly reply.
What You Can Do While You Wait
If you’re reading this and going through something similar, here are a few things you can reflect on. These points are not advice in the usual sense. They’re reminders to help you shift the focus back to what you can control.
1. Don’t Judge Yourself for Wanting a Response
It’s okay to want a reply. That doesn’t make you desperate. It makes you human. You saw potential and took a chance. Waiting is hard. Just don’t let the wait define your day.
2. Let the Silence Speak for Now
Sometimes, no response is the answer, at least for the moment. That doesn’t mean you will never hear from them. But try not to fill in the blanks with fear. Let time reveal the full story.
3. Reach Out Again, If It Feels Right
If you still feel strongly after a few more days or weeks, there’s no harm in sending a casual message. You don’t need to pour your heart out. Just something simple like, “Hey, hope you’re doing well. Just thought I’d say hi.” If they respond, great. If not, you gave it your best and can move on with clarity.
4. Keep Your Power
The hardest part is remembering that your worth is not tied to someone else’s reply. Whether or not they message you back does not change the fact that you were kind, bold, and open. Those are strengths, not weaknesses.
Was There Something You Could Have Done Differently?
This is another common question people ask themselves. Looking back, they wonder if they missed a cue or didn’t show enough interest. In the story, the woman asked for his Instagram. She saw that as a small move. In his cultural context, that may have been a big sign of interest. It’s possible he noticed, appreciated it, and just didn’t know how to respond without rushing.
But here’s the truth: you cannot always control how someone interprets your actions. Even if you had said more, stayed longer, or messaged right after landing, it might not have changed anything. Connection is a two-way street. You made a move. Now it’s up to him to meet you halfway.
A healthy connection involves mutual effort. If you’re doing all the reaching out, that’s not a conversation. That’s a monologue. And you deserve more than that.
Why This Hits So Deeply
There’s a deeper reason why this kind of silence is so hard. It’s mostly about romance and vulnerability. When you take the first step, especially across cultural lines, you expose yourself. You say, “I’m willing to try.” And when the other person doesn’t step forward too, it can feel like rejection of your whole effort, even when it’s not.
This is also why dating in unfamiliar settings feels extra uncertain. You’re not just wondering if they like you. You’re trying to figure out if what they said or did meant anything at all. Are they being polite, or are they interested? Are they shy, or just not into it?
In fact, some studies even say that misreading social signals is one of the biggest sources of confusion in cross-cultural dating. People often bring expectations from their own background, not realising the other person is working with a completely different rulebook.
This confusion is not your fault. But being aware of it can help you take things less personally.
What Should You Do Now?
Let’s keep this simple.
You met someone you liked. You were brave enough to make the first move. You’re still thinking about him, and it’s only been a week. That’s okay.
But instead of waiting and wondering endlessly, take this time to do two things:
1. Let Him Show You Who He Is
If he’s interested, he will reach out. Maybe not today. Maybe not next week. But eventually, he will. People who care make an effort. That’s a simple truth, across cultures.
2. Don’t Pause Your Life
You’re going to return to Norway in four months. A lot can happen in that time. Keep living your life. Meet people. Learn things. Focus on growth. If the connection was real, you’ll cross paths again. And next time, things will be clearer.
The most powerful thing you can do is carry your curiosity without clinging to outcomes. Be proud of yourself for being open. That already makes you the kind of person someone would be lucky to message back.
The Key Takeaways Here
The space between action and response can be full of doubt. But it can also be a space for clarity. Whether or not this man replies, you’ve already done something many people are too scared to do. You made a move without knowing the result.
That matters.
Let this be a reminder that you can be both gentle and brave. That reaching out does not make you weak. That culture plays a big role, but so does effort. And most of all, that if someone truly values you, they will find a way to show it.
